And on the third day he rested.

What?  I have a shorter work week than God, deal with it.  But really today was long.   There were kids falling and band aids, cell phones in the dogs water bowl and for a while we thought the hamster was dead.  Rest assured Little Nicky Punto is just fine.  So after a brisk run in the cool night air to reset my brain and a nice shower I will go to bed and start over tomorrow.  Hopefully by then my next piece should be ready to go by then.  See you then.

Drive by passive aggression and truck nuts

I hate bumper stickers.  Yup that’s right.  You read the inaugural post to this blog and expect me to follow up with some purging of the soul.  Surely I have dark secrets to get off my chest.  Clearly the writer of this blog broods over things more important, more worldly.  I mean there must be something more pressing on this mans psyche…right?  Nope, just bumper stickers.

That’s the thing about being me I guess.  I tend to make mountains out of mole hills sometimes.  But I think I am on to something with the whole bumper sticker thing. 

When I was a kid I seem to remember bumper stickers being more benign than they are today.  They said stuff like “My kids an honor roll student.”  Maybe some pithy remark about the piece of shit car you were driving.  Even the classic “Ass, grass or gas...no one rides for free,” was pretty harmless.  All things considered I recall that bumper stickers were supposed make the driver proud or the reader of said sticker laugh. 

But some time ago, I began to notice that as we all were participating in some group counseling trust exercise, people began to put some very personal and controversial things on their cars.  Like weather or not you were prochoice.  That’s the first one I remember.  My parents have had a “Pro Life,” sticker on every car since the early 90’s.  It seems once you open the flood gates with something like abortion than everything else is suddenly in play.  Example:

 

Of course you have seen these and others.  This isn’t an argument about free speech.  This isn’t even about specific opinions one might have.  What I can’t stand about bumper stickers is the absolute passive aggressive nature in which they are intended.  Am I the only one who sees this?  It’s like running up to someone, slapping them and then running away.  There is no discussion or chance for rebuttle.  There is only the likelyhood that you are angering someone who will now never try to listen to your points on a subject or, you are preaching to the choir.  Think about it; our cars say things most people would never bring up to strangers.

And then, we drive away.  We must believe we accomplish something with this display of sarcastic insult.  We must think its somehow constructive.  There are discussions I wont with family that they have posted to their vehicles.  Imagine interventions or other uncomfortable topics happening in this fashion.  You may see stickers that say “Jenny is a meth addicted whore,” or “Bob, we’re all pretty sure your gay.” 

In my area of the world it is pretty much expected that your vehicle will reflect not just a few but all of your political and religious views as well as your preference of American, and American only car manufacturer and sports team.  Now if you own a truck, you will need a decal of Calvin  pissing on something and also some nuts to afix below the hitch that match the color of your truck.  I suppose this is so people will know your truck is a boy which is appearently important to note.  I myself have yet to decide what I want Calvin to piss on and as of yet am uncomfortable with the thought of my truck having balls.  But I’m pretty new here.

So why do I care so much?  Because we are smarter than this.  We have to be right?  I mean I can have my opinions challenged and it’s not threatening to me.  Even if I have to sometimes admit that I have an opinion I can’t back with rationale or fact.  But to blurt out an opinion as fact and run away is just lazy.  Maybe its even fearful.  I think some people think that if enough people dawn the same messages to their cars it will have the effect of peer pressuring everyone else.  But reallly we are all opinionated weenies.  Most people would rather let Glen Beck or Keith Olberman formulate opinions for them than search and think for themselves.  And if we can’t think for ourselves, how can we challenge someone elses thinking?  We can’t.  So instead, we attempt to insult or humiliate them into being silent or submissive without ever having a real conversation with someone of a differing view.  I can’t help but think that the conversation is important. 

So that’s why I hate bumper stickers…and truck balls because those are yucky.

Whisper in crowds.

Did you ever do that?  I know I did.  I used to whisper just below the din of a crowd.  Like the time at the school dance I asked my crush of the moment “will you go out with me?”  The loud music stifled my words before they could reach her ears.  Or against the white noise and clatter of the old oscillating fan in my bedroom when I was an angry teen I would mutter horrible, mean things to my parents just down the hall. 

I was caught in these moments where I wasn’t brave enough to be heard but, I was at the very least brave enough to say.  Sounds cowardly I know but looking back, I think I was working up the nerve so that one day I might be able to ask out the girl, tell off my old man or stand up for someone else.  For most my adult life I’ve done ok.  I’ve held my ground and spoken my mind.

But I find myself whispering again…or worse yet, saying nothing at all.

This blog is my practice.  Against the crowd and noise of millions of bloggers and other social media I will speak.  And though it seems to me that a blog should be more virtuous or for some noble cause, this one is just for me.  I hope you dear readers of whom have yet to read this as I write it, may find these stories, essays, articles or whatever falls  out of my head entertaining, comical…maybe even helpful.  I even believe cosmically if you’re reading this that some twist of fate, some divine plan of the Universe has unfolded and brought us together.  This is where I will learn to Yell in Crowds without fear or embarrassment.